Hunting Season

Cougars are the new predators in the sex game .... and men kind of like it

By Black Adonis

You've seen her. She's the 40-something woman, who is tanned, well toned and has a dangerous spark in her eye. Yes, she is the latest player in the sex game -- the cougar. Just in case you don't know what a cougar is, the term is used to define sexually aggressive older women.

I learned of the term a few years ago through stories in the media,"Oprah" even did a piece on cougars.  I didn't realize I had been encountering cougars for years, I just didn't know they had a name.

You might ask what sparked this phenomenon which lead middle-aged women to become sex-crazed, dick hounds. It has a lot to do with financial and social changes in modern society. Even though we are several decades behind the sexual revolution of the 1970s, America is still conflicted about sex. The sexual revolution taught women that they owned their sexuality and could be as adventurous as men.

That might have worked in theory, but old mores do not change over night. American women are still not expected to be promiscuous. They still live with the fear of having the slut tag slapped on them. It took me a long time to figure this out. But it is explained why when I hooked up with some women on the first date, they always said "I usually don't do this." I guess they were concerned I would view them as slutty.

This phenomenon is common among female college students. I remember girls who were banging a different guy every night in college, but a few years after they graduated, they become "born-again virgins," started going to church and turned into people I didn't recognize. I often wondered if they were replaced by the pod people, because they were completely different from the people I knew in college.

I guess their biological clocks had gone off and they had prepared to transform into respectable, soccer moms, so they had to shed their party-girl reputations. The problem is, with a 50 percent divorce rate, marriage is no guarantee of wedded bliss. Many of these women, who probably married boring guys their parents approved of, find themselves in their mid-40s, with no husband, kids almost grown and lots of time on their hands.  So now it's time to either catch up on partying, or for the ones who married young, explore what they missed out in college.

The cynicism of divorce often creates many cougar. Some cougars are middle-aged women whose husbands dumped them for younger models as soon as they got a few wrinkles and gained some pounds. White boys are notorious for this, they like their women pencil thin and with huge boobs, so once the ravages of time and childbirth set in, they dump them on the marital scrap heap. Now these women face a brutal dating scene where they are competing against women who are 10 years younger than them. Men tend to date younger women, so dating options for middle-aged women are pretty slim.

Faced with these grim options many women simple opt for sexual relationships over romantic relationships. They trade boyfriends for fuck buddies. I believe much of the cougars' sexual aggression comes out of frustration. Many of these women bought into the fantasy of the white picket house and the minivan. They thought that when they married in their 20s they were going to be set for life. They played by the rules, didn't screw around in college and tried to be the perfect cookie-baking mom. Their reward for this was getting stuck with the mortgage and kids, while their ex-husbands are off banging hard-bodied 20-year olds.  Even if some of these women do end up with big divorce settlements, they soon realize that wealthy women often attract wannabe gigolos and men who want to be kept.

Another source of anger for many of these women is the realization they have been lied to. Women in their 40s and 50s grew up in an environment where interracial dating was largely taboo. It's not like today movies like "Save the Last Dance," which has a interracial love story, topping the weekend box office. These women grew up threatened with disownment if they crossed the color line and their dads often explictly warned them to stay away from black men. Some of their dads even told them that the myths about black men weren't true.  Now these women are free to explore their fantasies, they pursue black men with gusto. Many of them are curious about black men and are pleasantly shocked by what their find. Yes, black men do have larger penises; yes, the sex is better and yes, black men actually like dancing.

I used to have a white lady who was a friends with benefits. She was in a marriage to a white guy for more than 10 years and the sex was awful. She begged him to try and do something to improve their sex life. Since he failed to do anything about the situation, she started flirting with a black man at her office, and eventually hooked up with him. The sex must have been mindblowing, because soon after her fling she demanded a divorce. Once she realized what good sex was she could not go back to her old, humdrum sex life.

She is not alone, more middle-aged white women are discovering black men. There is a club I frequent which is known as a hunting ground for cougars. (I call it the Cougar Pit.) And many of them have acquired a taste for black men too. These cougars have realized that once the white boys quit looking at them, they need to be less selective about their choices. Brothers come from miles around to this joint which has developed a reputation for being a "salt and pepper club." (In case you didn't know a salt and pepper club is a place where white women go to meet black men.) This Cougar Pit is a notorious pick up joint and meeting a woman here is like shooting fish in barrel.

Sometimes the scenes are pretty crazy. You often see a middle-aged, soccer mom grinding up against a black stud to 50 cent. But you can't get mad at them, many of these woman are just making up for lost time or trying to get the most of out life before its too late. By the time you hit 40 you realize that almost half of your life is gone, and the time for demureness and conservatism are gone. I have heard many older white women, at this stage of their life they are not saving it for anyone. It's time to use it or lose it. And the men don't seem to mind it too. After decades of being the hunted, men are happy to sit back and watch the women come to them. The roles have been reversed, men are the prey and cougars are the predators. Let the games begin!